justagirl: (Not inclined to resign)
Well, we got a lot of stuff out of my room this afternoon. I do have to go through a lot more but it's amazing how much we got out and how much room there now is. Basically I have a corner which is actually a lot of my step-father's stuff and then the right side of my bed which I think is actually clothes, yarn and books. I'm a clothes whore and I'm not afraid to admit it. That will probably be what I do in the morning; go through clothes and see what I want to keep and what I don't want to keep. With the cramps and such that I'm having, it'll be nice, easy work that won't kill me. And then I'll have the back room to contend with. That room I can do even if it is hot out as the air conditioner really works well. The one in my bedroom does not work well at all. It hasn't for about three years but it's okay to sleep by with a fan. This weekend was perfect for the front room because it was cool today and tomorrow is going to be even cooler. I know, I should have done it in the winter but then I'm contending with the cold as the heat doesn't always warm the room that well. The trials of living in a house that's over 100 years old and needs a lot of work.

Anyways, aside from that, what have I been up to? Well, I did mention that I've been getting to know this guy. He messaged me on match.com about...two months ago I'd say and I did write back. We talked twice on match.com, then a few times in e-mail and we talk a lot of facebook. We also just started talking through text messaging. He respects the fact that I'm ... not terrified ... but dislike greatly talking on the phone and isn't pressuring me to do so. He's fine with text messaging. Basically we've agreed that the best thing is for us to be friends because I'm moving to Harrisburg, he lives in Philadelphia and doesn't drive but it's nice getting to know him. As of right now, we have no plans to meet in person but just to get to know each other through talking...well writing. This morning he was really sweet and just messaged me good morning and that he hoped I would have a good day. Okay, so we started text messaging yesterday when I decided at lunch to message him hi as I sat by the lake. But it was nice. Let's see, he's 31, is interested in music, used to play WoW, enjoys reading, watches a lot of crime drama and also enjoys British Comedy. He's easy to talk to though we are writing and through e-mail, I can even talk to the crush - which I'll get to next. Anyways, his name is Joe and I've just been enjoying talking to him. He also told me he likes me with red hair (he was looking at my facebook pictures) and that he'd like to see me with blond hair. Oh, and he knows I have depression issues and that I see a therapist and isn't freaked out by it. Tomorrow morning I'll write him another e-mail. I'd do it tonight but I usually wind up taking about an hour to write an e-mail back to him and I have alloted myself the last hour before bed to knitting since I found an easy scarf to knit.

Next thing that has been going on is I've sorta been talking to the crush more. Not in person but one day last week he closed one of my tickets and like I always do, I sent him a quick e-mail thanking him (because it's only polite to thank someone after they've fixed something for you even if they do work on the help desk) and asked how he was. I hadn't heard from him in a few weeks and I figured like normal I'd get a yw with a smiley face and that would be it. But it wasn't. He actually answered me back with how he was and then asked how I was. So we went back and forth a little that day (he was telling me about his new puppy). The next day I was walking back to the DE suite for a meeting, didn't see him and was somewhat surprised when I heard hi Jenn and looked up to see him hooking up a computer. I got to say hi, asked how he was and then had to run to the meeting that I was already late too. Part of me says I should have said fuck the meeting and stayed to talk to him but I didn't. The day after that, followed the same as the first; I thanked him for closing a ticket, asked how he was and he answered back. That day we talked about how he was frustrated with something. Friday of the week saw the same and we talked about how he needed a vacation and how long it's been since he's been on a vacation. Oh yeah, and since we've been e-mailing, his name moved up in my Outlook list and I accidentally sent him an e-mail that was for someone else so he now knows that my one nickname is Chloe (thanks Kim!). Didn't really talk to him this week; not because I didn't want to but he didn't answer the e-mail I sent on Wednesday asking how he was and if his dog had a name yet. He did answer one that afternoon that got sent to him accidentally and he did say he was going to watch the Flyers that night. Did talk to him briefly on the phone yesterday but there was someone else on the phone plus...again...I don't talk on the phone. LOL. Anyways, we talked briefly through e-mail too yesterday; it was really nothing; just asked how he was (and he asked how I was) and then I asked what he was doing for the weekend (he told me he was going to West Chester to watch the UFC fight) and I apologized for kind of snapping at him on the phone since he was calling to fix one thing and I was having a mini crisis in that our main data entry program had just crashed and no one was able to work (he fixed it really quick) but apparently he didn't see me as snapping when we were on the phone. So I'm confused on him; does he know I exist or doesn't he, does he see me as someone who could be a friend or doesn't he, does he see me as someone who could be more then a friend or doesn't he?

Yeah, so now I have two guys that I like; though I like them differently. Joe I see as someone who has the potential of being a really good friend. He's easy to talk to and I don't know if either of us see it as going any further then that. The crush on the other hand, I think could be more then a friend but I have no clue where he stands or what he thinks.

At the same time, my heart was broken a little this past week when I found out that Tony Stewart is dating a skinny little blond.

The yarn that I ordered from yarn.com the other day arrived this morning so I was able to start knitting the scarf that I wanted to. It's a beginner scarf that I found in one of my knitting magazines. It's not a long one; about 23" long total; but with that said, it shouldn't take me three years to knit. Since the entire pattern is the knit stitch, I did order more expensive yarn since usually I buy the cheap stuff from Michael's or A.C. Moore. I'm not too worried about screwing this up. I will just take my time and work slowly on it. This is what I'm attempting to make. It's in the Knit Scene Easy magazine. All the projects in the magazine are suppose to be easy to make. Here are all the projects in the magazine. I am slowly going to work my way through them. I really think they'll help me learn to knit better.

School starts on Friday (the 12th). I am now taking a science class and the software applications class since I wasn't allowed to take web design and software applications at the same time. The science class I'm worrying about since science has never been my strong point. Anyone good at science? Because I might have questions that I need help with trying to understand what they're asking. I also have to e-mail my adviser because they've taken all my electives by filling in classes from my paralegal agree; great except some of them are not the best grades but rather the ones that I was in when my mom was in the hospital and they thought she could possibly die. Wasn't my best at the time and school really wasn't my concern.

Okay, I think I'm going to go. I do want to write that e-mail to my adviser before I forget. Hope everyone is doing well!
justagirl: (Default)
I am a bad, bad person. I haven't disappeared, life just has gotten very busy plus I have a lot going on in my head right now that I've been trying to deal with on my own like a big girl. Between working, trying to pack my room, classes starting next Friday, and getting to know this really nice guy through e-mail and text messaging (and no, it's not the guy I've been crushing on for a year), I haven't had any free time. Plus, since I'm going to probably focus in web design in school, I've been trying to brush up on my web site skills. Anyways, after this weekend (the step-father and I are tackling my bedrooms), I should have some more free time and can get to know my new friends here.

But I am interested in how everyone is. So...how is everyone?
justagirl: (Default)
There are so many things that I need to do but I'm not doing them. Am I being lazy? Somewhat. I'm exhausted. The 46 hours of work this week has been a killer; especially since most of that was spent typing in some way or another. What I am suppose to be doing is bringing every out of my two bedrooms and going through it but I talked with my step-father last night and he agreed that on Tuesday or Wednesday he'll clean out the stuff he has in the dining room and then start bringing down the containers and piles from the rooms and then I can go through them where I actually have room. And so they told me to rest today since I'll probably have another week of overtime.

So what have I done today? Well, I wound up sleeping late since the one cat kept me up most of the night fighting for bed space. Finally got out of bed at 11 and got a shower. A few years ago I had tried the Schick Intuition shower razor and didn't like how it did my legs but yesterday when I was at Giant, they had the Schick Intuition Plus on sale plus I had a $1 off coupon for anything in Health and Beauty so I decided to try it again. This time, it didn't suck. And in the long run, it's cheaper then the Nair Shower stuff that I've been using. That is a definite plus.

After my shower I ordered some boneless wings from Chili's. They said ten to twenty minutes and so I used that time to hit Barnes and Nobles next door to Chili's for my British Genealogy magazines. And guess what - the new Top Gear magazine was also in and it has a bright green Porsche on the front. While I was there, I found they had a new Knit Simple magazine and two history magazines that looked interesting. And I was bad, I hit the Star Bucks in the back of Barnes and Nobles and got a Venti Light Caffe Vanilla. I know, seriously bad but I was craving caffeine. Picked up dinner and I've been sitting here on the couch relaxing and watching family movies free onDemand. First was Cheaper by the Dozen 2 which was really good. Now I just started First Daughter. I don't know how it is going to be but you know what, I don't care. It makes me happy. :)

Mom is staying up at the house in Harrisburg for the week but Steve is on his way down. We didn't get him a birthday present and we know he wanted the Google Nexus phone but we can't get it on a family plan. Not through T-Mobile because the guy mom talked to on the phone tried to help her but said Google is controlling it all. He did help her get in touch with Google who suggested we buy out his part of my family plan and then buy the phone through them on his own plan; or we can spend $530 and buy just the phone and put it on the family plan ourselves. The woman at Google told mom if we're not willing to spend the money with them, then we should look at the new HTC phone but the Google phone out performs the HTC phones. I'm going to take him up to look at it. And I beg to differ with the woman's comment. Steve already has a Google phone and I have the HTC touch pro 2 and my phone is way better then his. So we'll see if he likes the phone but I'm thinking not.

I am thinking of playing The Sims 3 for a bit; or WoW since I haven't played that in a long time either. Of course, I should also work on pen pal letters. What should I do?

Changes

Apr. 24th, 2010 04:08 pm
justagirl: (Default)
The past few weeks, all I've been thinking about is how so many people think my life is bad. And for the life of me, I cannot figure out how my life is bad. Because it's not. If it was random people, I probably wouldn't care so much but my own father thinks there is something wrong with my life. But after much soul searching and a few conversations with my therapist, I've come to realize that my life is not bad. It just isn't what everyone expects it to be.

The biggest thing that everyone; including my father; seems to harp on is the fact that at twenty-seven (almost twenty-eight), I still live at home with my mother, my step-father and my younger brother. Do I want to be here? Part of me says yes, it's nice to have people around in the house and part of me says no, maybe people would want to be my friend if I lived on my own. Sure, I could find roommates but I'm not one to live with random people and I do have a serious shortage of friends right now so the only option I have is to find a place on my own.

I've priced it out and looked at different options and have come to a conclusion. Could I afford to live on my own? Yes. Would I still be able to live like I'm accustom to? For the most part. Would things get tight? More then likely; especially if I have to start re-paying my student loans anytime soon or I have to pay more out of pocket for this next degree I'm working on. At this point, I really do not think it would be wise on my part to move out. Sure, everyone is saying the economy is turning up but the problems are still not over. And my work; while we're getting busy again; could always have more layoffs. If by some awful chance I was to get laid off, I wouldn't be able to afford to live on my own. Besides, in really thinking about it, before I move out, I want to get a new car. Well, actually, before I move out, I'd like to get married but that isn't happening any time soon.

And that is the other thing that everyone is constantly harping at me about. My singleness and the fact that I really haven't dated since high school. Truth be told, I'm not a casual person. Well, except for clothes. Random dating is not my thing. The major part of being single that bothers me is I do want to get married and I do want to have kids. And I know that to meet someone, I am going to have to go on dates - but I'm not up for the "let's go to the bar and meet a guy there" that my other single girl friend has been suggesting. I know what I want in a guy and I know there are guys out there that meet what I'm looking for. And yes, one day I will meet them. For the most part, being single doesn't bother me but when everyone gets on me about it, my OCD kicks in and it's the only thing I can think of. Besides, the few guys I have gone on dates with over the past nine years have said after one date that I'm the type of girl a guy marries and they just aren't looking for that yet. Which is a) a bunch of bull because they're just not interested but they're trying to spare my feelings or b) the truth in which I'm basically screwed.

Blah - there are other things that people get on my case about but it all pretty much ties up into the fact that I'm twenty-seven, single and living at home. So I figured it's time to make some changes. While change does tend to scare me, I also tend to jump into it head first and make too many changes at once. I need to stop and start making small changes. Yes, there is a big change going on in that my family has just up and decided to move to Harrisburg. Sure it's the state capital but let me tell you, there is a big difference from living in the suburbs of Philadelphia to living in Harrisburg. I'm not even in the city and there are more people living in my area then live in Harrisburg. Thought this would be cool but I'm beginning to think it's seriously not. We will see but if I have trouble finding friends in Philadelphia, how the hell am I going to find friends in Harrisburg? And now mom has sprung on me that she thinks we'll probably be moving back to the suburbs of Philadelphia in a year or two. So why the hell are we moving then? At this point, I'm not going to quit my job and find something out there if we're probably going to be back here in a year or two.

So what am I changing? Well, I did try to dye my hair blond. Didn't work as the blond just pulled all my natural red highlights and I'm now pretty much a dark strawberry blond. But I have started wearing make-up (I feel so fake with make-up on) and now that I've lost a little weight (I think if I could actually get the flubber of my stomach and gut to tone, it'd actually feel like I've lost weight) and can buy XXL shirts from Old Navy, I'm updating my wardrobe some. I am also focusing on a more positive outlook on life and keep thinking positively about what I want in life. So far while nothing has changed, I am more happy. Happy is good. I am also branching out in the online world and created a journal at dreamwidth. It's time to make some new friends and to continue to grow as a person.

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justagirl

November 2010

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